Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here. Your team: Cincinnati Bengals. Your 2015 record: 12-4. Wow. Pretty impressive. Why, that sounds like that kind of loaded team that could finally notch a playoff win for Marvin Lewis… a band of SCRAPPY UNDERTIGERS that could rally from a 15-0 deficit in the fourth quarter (without Andy Dalton!) against the hated Steelers and finally rid themselves of their long-standing reputation for turning into cold vomit during the postseason! Let’s see if they OH MY GOD Yup. They bungled it. To refresh your memory, Jeremy Hill fumbled when t…
Fuck yeah, man. The Premier League's back tomorrow. This is super duper great, because although various leagues like the German Bundesliga and France's Ligue 1 have already kicked off, ain't nothing like the Premier League. While other leagues annually boast only two or three top sides and naught but chum below, there are as many as six English teams that will be pushing for a trophy. There are a bunch of Premier League previews that are out in the lead up to the first kickoff tomorrow, and they're all bullshit—even/especially this one—because no one has any idea what's going to happen. That's partially because nothing has happened yet, and also because with two and a half weeks left in the transfer window, there's a good chance all six teams will…
Continuing in the grand tradition of cute tiny babies being terrified by professional athletes photos — a genre that hit its pinnacle with this legendary shot — we present this photo of Stephon Marbury, about to be backhanded by a child who doesn't want those cheap-ass ugly shoes. It's Got To Be The Shoes? Right? [Need4Sheed] …
data-mm-id=”_ut25ul5s6″>After pulling off two straight upset wins, the 9-7 Tennessee Titans are in position to reach the second Super Bowl in their history. All that stands in their way are the AFC West champion Kansas City Chiefs, in search of their first Super Bowl title in a half-century, coming off their dramatic comeback win over the Houston Texans in the Divisional Playoffs. The Chiefs will also look for revenge for their 35-32 loss to the Titans in Week 10 of the regular season.Derrick Henry continuing his hot streakOh, yes. In two straight weeks, Derrick Henry has torn holes through two of the NFL's best defenses of the regular season – New England and Baltimore – rushing for a total of 377 yards on 64 carries (5.89 yards per carry) with one touchdown while also throwing f…
data-mm-id=”_3v05qhpzw”>A.J. Green is apparently fully healthy after a year on the shelf and battling injuries intermittently since 2016. The news of Green's return to health is great for the Cincinnati Bengals and Joe Burrow, the presumptive No. 1 pick in the 2020 NFL Draft. Having Green at his disposal will be huge for Burrow as he opens his career. When a quarterback gets taken with the first pick, he usually joins a franchise in disarray. If a team winds up near the top of the draft and has to select a signal-caller, it usually means the roster is bare and the franchise is beginning a rebuild. While that's largely true in Cincinnati, Burrow wouldn't be without help, especially with Green back. While Green isn't what he once was, he's still only 31 years old…
data-mm-id=”_bnbveoydl”>The time has come to have a frank discussion about whether or not we should imprison author George R.R. Martin. Now, don't look at me here. It was his own idea that he suggested in a blog post on May 21, 2019. In his own words:”But I tell you this — if I don’t have THE WINDS OF WINTER in hand when I arrive in New Zealand for worldcon, you have here my formal written permission to imprison me in a small cabin on White Island, overlooking that lake of sulfuric acid, until I’m done. “The World of Science Fiction Convention (worldcon), which was supposed to take place in Wellington, New Zealand, is being held virtually, beginning today. Thus, Martin vowed to have his long-awaited sixth novel from the A Song of Fire and Ice series, The Winds of Winter, don…
data-mm-id=”_k7vfffr30″>Home Alone, the second-best Christmas movie behind only It’s a Wonderful Life, is a rollicking celebration of negligent parenting and standing one’s ground. In the 27 years since its debut, the film has aged very well as childhood independence and bad guys getting hurt are both timeless.There are, however, certain elements that are frozen in time — like the decor of the McCallister’s suburban mansion. Thirty-somethings revisiting the movie are also prone to bouts of nostalgia when Kevin roots around his older brother’s room and turns up a BB gun and some Starting Lineup figures, the ultimate status symbol for early 1990s school recesses.Remember those things? Kids collected them and played with them before adults started hording them up, unopened, fo…
data-mm-id=”_2c0sfasoe”>The Los Angeles Lakers beat the hell out of the Memphis Grizzlies in Game 6 of their first-round playoff series last night. In defeating the Grizzlies by 40 points the Lakers eliminated Memphis and moved onto the second round. This means it is now time for a whole lot of gloating from not just the many fans who were rooting against the Grizzlies but also from the Lakers themselves. To nobody's surprise LeBron James didn't take much time to get petty with it. He started by tweeting out lyrics to a Jay-Z song that could only be directed at one Dillon Brooks, the biggest loser of the whole round, the playoffs, and maybe of all time. Unlike you little 🤬I'm a grown ass manBig shoes to fill 🤬, grown ass pants Prolly hustled with your pops,…